August 1, 2009

• It’s been a while since I’ve posted. I have been so busy in my life. The man I started dating in February has been the best thing that’s happened to me since I had Haley. I prayed so much in the past to find someone that I could love and have and build a family and home with. I expected that someday it would happen a few years from now. Then last February we had our first date. We’d been emailing and talking on the phone for 2 months before we met in person. Not because of being cautious but because of other circumstances in both of our lives. The night we went on our first date I knew that he chose the place he did because he had hoped it would be the right place to ask me to marry him someday. That hasn’t happened yet, I’m thankful for that, I want more time as boyfriend and girlfriend before that happens. I know with how our relationship has gone so far that it will happen at the right time. When it’s right for our families. I truly hope it does happen where we had our first date. I debate whether or not I’d hope to have it be just he and I or if I’d want our families there. It’s not for me to decide all that stuff. I want it to be a surprise when it does happen.

  For now we’re taking the next step. We rented an apartment together. It’s wonderful, it’s a beautiful 3 bedroom apartment, a room for each of our kids and one for us. I hope to put pictures up after we’re all moved in. He has been the most amazing man I’ve ever dated. I never knew life could be so nice, peaceful, fun, interesting, adventurous, loving, happy… any wonderful happy adjective you can think of and that is my life. It’s still stressful at times, we still have our problems but nothing earth shattering, any time we disagree we work things out. Disagreeing is part of figuring out our boundaries, but we are never hurtful, never truly angry with each other and we both have a lot of patience, love, kindness and respect for each other.

  My life has been so full of wonderful moments in the last three years since I moved back home that if someone had told me four years ago even half of what would happen after moving here, after releasing my grip on what I perceived as my on my own, in control life I wouldn’t have believed them. My life is so much better than it ever was before. I am so much happier. I have found such peace inside. I have my moments where not everything is wonderful beautiful happy roses but they are so few now compared to what they were then. Back then I could post sadness daily. It’s so different now.

  I wonder if this is what they mean when they say life is what you put into it.

  I have so much more to talk about. I’m so happy with so much. I have no time right now though. More stuff to do tonight.

  I miss the friends I’ve made here. I miss that I don’t write as much. Maybe once things settle again after the move I’ll have more time to write again.

  I know not many visit my site anymore but if anyone does I just wanted to say that I truly thank everyone for everything they’ve done for me over the years. The support I have received here helped me out of such a black hole in my life. I can never repay what I was given here. I can only be thankful. I have so much love, respect and warm thoughts for all of you. Thank you.

  • 9:05 pm
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